Raising Girls


The whole Gilette ridiculousness is just more hot air on a topic of division.  I get it, people are tired of being told what to do.  The irony here is that there’d be no need to remind them if they’d just treat people as people.

Being a man today is harder than it was 20 years ago.  No question.  But it was STUPID EASY being a man 20 years ago.  Everything in the world was built for a you.  Nearly all sports, school, jobs, cars, vacations, commercials, movies were built with a man in mind.  It was like shooting fish in a barrel.  A super example is China’s 1-child law, where boys were prized above girls, and where the projection is 30 million more men than women by 2020.  I could write a book about the social impacts of such a disparity.

I have 2 girls, and I live in Canada.  Honestly, they won the damn jackpot.  They don’t need to get married at 8.  They don’t need to work in a rice field instead of going to school.  They can’t be discriminated against in terms of career choice – they are measured as equals in terms of skill/knowledge.  We have access to high caliber women’s sports.  They are, by law, treated as equal.

But you know what?  They still have a 1/3 chance of being sexually assaulted.  They will be judged more by what they wear, than what they say or do.  They will be told that STEM is for boys.  They will have to always have to travel in a group, else risk being attacked.

The problem with laws is that we need them.  There are assholes all over the place, and most of them don’t even think they are assholes.  If you’re being told to not grope women, and you somehow find that offensive, then then problem is you.

Here’s a quick test that can help prove the point.  Name 10 male role models, and time how long that takes. Doesn’t matter what they do, as long as you think they are role models. Good?  Now do it again, but for female role models.  Did you even get to 10?

But I get it.  Men have been in power for centuries.  We’ve been raised that we are better.  We are stronger, wiser, and a dozen other -ers.  Bullshit.  Men are cowards.  Cowards hide, and lie, and complain.  Strength comes from sharing and growing with others.

When people learn that women can be as vindictive, as evil, as troll-like, as corrupt as men, maybe then they will get the equal footing that is still lacking today.  Women can be more destructive than men, no question.  When we start using the same rules for both, then we can have progress.  It has nothing to do with women being better than men.  It has everything to do with them being equal, judged by the same rules.  Not special treatment – equal treatment.

Feminism isn’t coming after football (CTE is).  It isn’t coming after beer (liver disease and drunk driving are).  It isn’t coming after your job (merit-based appointments, and automation are).

This /rant brought to you by stupid people, who think that their mothers, wives, daughters, and friends deserve less respect than their male counterparts.

6 thoughts on “Raising Girls

  1. I was trying to recall how old I was before I actually called the next door neighbor when I was growing up by their first name. Well, I’m 56 now and he has to be close to 80, and I still refer to him as Mr. ____. I have seen many times where fathers have in no uncertain terms told their children, both boys and girls, that when a person holds a door open for you, you say thank you. I actually saw a father and his 4-5 year old son at the store, he got in front of his dad so he could hold open the door for an elderly lady coming in. She told him thank you young man, and he replied, you are welcome, and have a nice day. There were many Awe’s expressed by all around. Children learn what is acceptable behavior from parents and relatives and what they see on TV. You are right in your challenge of 10 role models, but for me the toughest was thinking of names of notable people on both sides. I prefer to consider my role models those who raised me to be respectful of everyone, especially our elders. Now that I am as old as many were when I was growing up, and I see how most behave towards me and those my age, I wonder where things went wrong. Perhaps it is how men and women have been portrayed in television for decades, in music videos, etc. I honestly don’t know. But occasionally I see how a young person acts like that little boy, and think that maybe there is a chance for things to get better in the future.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Funny, I don’t feel threatened by any of this at all (as an upper middle class, cisgender white male) – I mean, how could I, really. It’s true as a father of a 13 year old, cisgender (so far) white male I find he has adjusted to the expectations put upon him better than most adults. I once said “She looks great for her age” and he corrected me, mentioning it wasn’t nice to judge her by her age or looks, let alone combined. I tried to explain myself out of that one that it was actually a compliment, but he had me struggling on explaining why. Sometimes the word don’t represent the intent, but we have to be even more careful these days on clarity.

    Liked by 2 people

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