Harry Potter

So I saw the final HP film this weekend. I had already read all the books in the winter. Took a week. I had conflicting issues with the books and the films – well – they didn’t help much.

To say that HK Rowling is a good writer is up for debate.  Her writing skills (the words) are adequate and the structure is relatively sound.  She doesn’t overexpose or use stupid allegories (hello Dan Brown!) and there’s a given logic to her stories.  Her messages are simple and I think that’s what people resonate with.

To say that she is a good author is a different matter.  The first two books are relatively simple in scope, with few large surprises.  Sure, you get the idea that the kids are just plain lucky at times but they are kids scrapping by and they don’t want the credit.  By the third book though, Harry is seen as some wizarding master yet in reality, he is bullshitting his way through every book, all the way to the end.  Think about it, does Harry change at all in personality from book 1 to 7 – after he finds out he’s a wizard?  Do any of the characters?  They are identical throughout and nothing changes but the setting.  The characters are bland and have zero self-discovery.

The last point I want to make, and it’s an important one, is that when you work in fantasy and specifically magic, you need to either make the items completely outside of reality OR an augmented reality.  Flying broomsticks?  Cool, it becomes the defacto method of transport in all the books – next to that portal thing they do.  Invisibility cloak?  Not cool.  You can use it to sneak EVERYWHERE and solve 90% of the problems found in the books – especially that only 2 people in the entire world can detect it.

The absolute worst culprit is the time turner, a device that lets you go back in time.  See, the thing about time travel is that it has no bearing on today.  If I want to go back and kill Hitler, I can do it today, tomorrow, 5 years from now, it makes no difference.  Why in the world is that device even in the books?  Oh, Diggory died in the graveyard at 8pm and at 7:55 the world’s baddest bad guy was reborn?  Let’s port back to 7:54 and stop it.  Pick a magical item in the HP world and you will find insane plot holes and luck.

So after reading the books I was mad as hell that HK is praised as some messiah for literature.  It’s a rip-off from dozens of stories already told (she’s been successfully sued for it too), written with the skill of a high school student and the technical prowess of a Cracker Jack box.  At least the films don’t take themselves seriously and avoid a lot of the absolutely retarded plot points from the books.

Oh, and Voldermort dying at the end of it all?  If you follow the plot points, he killed himself.  Just saying.